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Parenting 101: Tough Love

                                             





John has always had to work for what he gets. Even when he was 10 years old his father made him take jobs to augment his pocket money or buy a toy he wanted. Nothing was handed to him unless he has done absolutely well in school.  His parents were regular middle class and he grew up in a regular middle class neighbourhood  not missing anything. When he graduated from university, his father sent him off for his Msc. he came back and couldn't find a job. His father tolerated him for 2 years after that after which he gave John an ultimatum.  His father gave him 100k and sent him on his jolly way.  3 months later he got a job in another town through people he knew.

Ade was an only son. His father loved him very much. He never really had to work for anything his parents kind of handled all that work stuff. He was posted to a place close to his home by a friend of his father. Even his job his daddy had to hand hold him to get it. Everything was handled by his father. When things got bad and he needed to take care of rent or fees his father kind of a handled it. So when  real life happened and Ade couldn't hold his house together because he didn't have real life skills that he needed his father just took him back in and he was content to just be there. While his father just kept providing for him.

Who loves his son more?

In Nigeria our parents don't throw us out of the house when we turn 18. If our parents can handle it financially they just keep  caring for us. Maybe it comes from a life of not really having or whatever else. That's just our culture.  Now I am not necessarily referring to the beating you receive as a child because all that does not a real adult make it just keep a child in line sometime permanently sometimes not.  What I am referring to is the tough love it takes for us to build grown and responsible adults in our country.
 
As parents how are we making our children accountable for themselves? Especially when we can afford it. Does your child just walk up to you and collect an allowance then finishes it and collects more. Then leaves your house to university and cannot understand the value of money while you strive and strive in the sun to provide.
I cannot say I really understood the value of money till I got into university  but I think I am just one of those people who is always aware of money. Nothing scarier than being broke. So I am not really a big spender. 
It's not only in financial matters but being able to love your child in a balanced way teaching them that actions have equal and sometimes opposite reactions will make them aware of life around them. How do you teach your child or if you are like me whose child is too young to understand it how do you teach a child to be responsible for the stuff around them and how do we find the balance where your child is aware of your love and knows that all the things you allow them go through are because you love them and they will be better for it.
 
After all its iron that sharpens iron.

                                       Image result for tough love quotes tumblr
xoxo.


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