Kimi Shy

You want to be a politician? Step right up… Sola wants to be governor of her state one day but Sola has no money to support a dream like that especially since Sola is also the Primary provider for her whole family. Sola works 2 jobs but she is driven,  has a plan and based on her experience working in her community she creates a worksheet on how to send more children to school without bankrupting the local government, a plan to increase farm yields and stop herders from trampling the crops of the villagers. She starts working for her LGA council and one day she takes her plan to her boss to show him and explain how she wants to implement her plans. After he finishes giving her a lecture on the inexperience of her youth, he proceeds to tell her the long line of men she has to sleep with or pay first for such a dream to come true. The fact that the President passed a bill does not change her situation, there are still older and wealthier men and women who want thi...

Dear Mr President, The other day, doing what young people do, I picked up my phone and read a statement from you. The one in the above quote. Sadly, I wasn't surprised because I realized what most of the young people in Nigeria did not realize, that your main job is to appear more to the outside world than to us that you have tackled our issues and found us wanting because if you don't we obviously cannot get money out of them. But as a curious cat that I am I have a few simple questions, please take your time to answer: Which youth are you talking about exactly? The ones who are queuing up in the streets every day looking for work? The ones migrating from rural areas in search for a better life for their families? Or is it the idealistic ones that return to this country with big dreams of making a better country and are told to chill “. Are you not Nigerian?" The ones who seek an opportunity to get better and be entrepreneurs in the absence o...

I think, as Nigerians, our expectations are way too high. A friend of mine used to say "wetin you no go accept as rich man, reject am as poor man". The saying simply means keep your standard constantly high, don't bow to the laws of marginal cost, because if you give way on something you have to compromise on another that may matter more. We cannot lower our standards as people on some issues and be outraged when we get other things of lower standards. It's a mix of very funny and very sad, the kind of simple things that have been used to displace the Nigerian common sense, then we rant and rave trying to prove how high our expectations are. When you are okay with driving on bad roads and not asking questions, you want to take offense that customer care is not responding to you? When you are okay with no electricity in your house for one week and yet you want the solar energy company to give you bargain prices? You are okay with constant interruptio...

You are sitting in your house minding your business, the Electricity providers, truck passes by, you are not worried, they back up and stop at your house gate and try to bully your poor gate man to open the gate. You have however given him specific instruction not to let THOSE PEOPLE in again. It’s war. So they call you, you go to meet them and the AEDC people try to intimidate you into opening the gate, for them to check what you don't know as there is no prepaid meter.  They promise to come back another day for more action if you don't show them your bill. Bill you have paid oh, so you relent and show them.                                   The next month they bring a new bill and somehow, with the same amount of light they give you, you have managed to use triple the amount of power you used the previous month.  That first wave of hopelessness is felt before the anger sets i...

                                                   If you are an avid oyibo movie watcher like me, then you have heard of what they call, the American Dream. It means the idea that anyone in the United States has the chance to achieve success and prosperity.  I figure the dream runs along different lines for different folks, for some it might be being a successful father, mildly busy but extremely available mother, two children, a dog  (or some other animal)and a great white house with a fence of some sort (this is just the way I assume it will look) or it could be building and running your own fortune 500 company from starting in a garage or your bedroom. This dream is supported by a system that makes education up to high school level free and compulsory and provides opportunities to be held on to and grow. This dream is achieved by some an...

Beware of Long Post :D                                        Effiong  was not made for school all he wanted to do was play football, but his father won't let him play, he was meant to be a doctor in this life and cure his father arthritis.  So while he stared blankly at the huge  textbooks his father had procured from the kind second hand book seller, Effiong dreamt about Kanu, Maradonna and all those great men who chased around a little ball to put in a hole.  One day he skipped school and was playing with his friend on a dusty field where the village people dried clothes on the weekends, one man walked up to him and told him he was a good player and asked to see his father. After much resistance from the parents and a few consultations with the local prophet, he was allowed to go ahead to play football. He finally made it nationally and internationally ear...

                                 Ladies and gentlemen, let's say hello to the struggle of today. I cannot believe some of the things I am seeing and hearing. To be honest I had my post for today already sorted out, but my mind cannot allow me post any other thing. Yesterday we heard that they are increasing the price of petrol. Confusion no gree me even talk sef, I said to myself  'let me sleep and wake up then I can discuss this'.  I miss going home for my mother to cook for me. I miss somebody else worrying about all these things but that's the price of being grown. I appreciate my parents 1000 times more everyday what they have had to put up with to get me to  be where I am today.                        I went to the market to buy tomatoes the other day and a basket that used to be between 500 to 800 Naira ...

Hello People, It has been a while but thanks for sticking with me, Everyone is rounding out for the year so the work has not been easy but we are grateful to God because it has not been easy but it has been fabulous. I was going to write an ode to MEN. Yes you read it right An Ode to Men, Saying all the wonderful reasons why we should still celebrate them. Patriarchy had a bad year though! LOL. In this post i am going to teach you how to be a Nigerian. You think you are a Nigerian but you have no idea.  I will be exploring 5 basic features every Nigerian should Posses based on the examples we have been given. Never take responsibility for your actions: you may be someone who is quick to stand up and take the blame, but you are doing it all wrong.  A true Nigerian never takes responsibility. Don't you read the news, or Linda Ikeji like every normal Nigerian person, don't you read how the current ruling class keeps blaming the past administration for  ev...

I forgot to say  Happy Independence Nigeria in my last post. We have come a long way you and I. From when I thought I could conquer you, to when I tried, to when you did and I just came to accept it. Nigeria has come a long way some of it good, some of it bad, we are still growing I accept. I have been seeing  some videos online and a lot of brands and people have been going on about their reasons why they love Nigeria. I am going to be honest, whether you like it or not the major reason why we like Nigeria is because we can do as we like and get away with it, majority of the time. No justice, no call back, no ticket. Basically we do not Pay. That's why we love Nigeria. If you like, be a twitter activist with all your Oyibo Schooling or Dstv exposure, it all comes down to the same thing. If Police should stop you after you have beat a traffic light you either beg or pay. You are like every other Nigerian and we LOVE It. The other day I was taking my child home from s...