I
always laugh when I have to read all those articles about how to make your
relationship last.
I
have always felt It really isn't up to one thing you do or are doing to get
someone to stay with you. Individuals decide this is what they want, and they
fight to keep it no amount of squats,
yam pounding, stomach tying and kegles(these may help though, who knows) you do.
Unless
you have been married for 60 years blissfully and passionately you can't really
say right? because even 30 year marriages can end.
The
part of last year that really killed my happily ever after buzz was the Angelina
and Brad split. I was really rooting for them as I have a constant woman crush on Angelina.
While
I understand that some view her as a husband snatcher/home wrecker, I don't
think she went after his previous marriage with a machete to destroy it. He is
the one who made the vow and the one who broke it. I am a marriage fan girl and nothing makes me happier
than a married couple that can bounce back but we don't always get our wish.
Now
to the point at hand.
To
be in an active relationship with any one, whether it is friendship or a romantic relationship, I
feel the devil is in the details. Forget
the #couple goals that we see on Instagram and Facebook with a lady with snatched waist and man with
big muscles. It's the details that make
the marriage or relationship worth fighting for.
Can
you handle the details? Do you want to?
Details
like; the way the light shines on their face in the badly lit restaurant, the
way the person laughs at your embarrassing mistakes or holds their breath and
runs in and out of the bathroom to do
the toilet paper save while you have another bad case of runny tummy.
The
way you laugh at the jokes you have heard over and over again because you just
like the way they say it. They way you
have to try new things (like amala, that you end up loving) because of them
when you are just a comfort creature. The way they respond when you ask if you
are fat with cute words that still mean fat but make you feel better.
"Love is in the mundane. I think the love songs and romance novels have ruined us. You would not die without them, you will probably go on living , but you don't want to live without them. It's not a need, it's a want which makes it all the more special."
Love
is; patient because people are very annoying, it's kind
because it's kindness that makes you say; 'you are just rosy' when you want to
say you are fat, it keeps no record of wrong because when you are with someone
for long and you love them, you will
have to force amnesia sometimes and this also means it forgives.
Love always
protects because what else is there for you to do when you love someone, if
they get hurt it's still you that has to care for them, so you protect them for
your sake.
Love always trusts because you will be a very unhappy person if you always
assume the worst about people you claim to love and you have to trust someone
at some point right?
Love most importantly can evolve, it doesn't get stuck on butterflies, flat tummies and 6pack abs, it is willing to learn, change and grow.
It's
not simple or easy and that's the problem now, love is not easy and sometimes,
it's really not a great adventure, if you don't want to work at it on some days
then just love yourself.
Love
is not only in grand gestures like chattering a flight to take you on a trip, it's
in simple things like sitting silently with you when your world is crumbling,
listening, praying together and not judging. It's not only in fancy expensive
dates and gifts, it's in sitting with you when that food from the restaurant doesn't
agree with your tummy.
It's
in watching the boring movie and sharing the remote control.
It's
in helping out when help is needed.
It's
the fact that they get to see you without all the makeup or flossing and they still
say;
'Gosh.. So beautiful'
love
is in the details.
It's
also in Jesus dying for you even when
you didn't know him. That to me is the Ultimate.
xoxo
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