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In The Details


                                          Image result for details

I always laugh when I have to read all those articles about how to make your relationship last.
I have always felt It really isn't up to one thing you do or are doing to get someone to stay with you. Individuals decide this is what they want, and they fight to keep it  no amount of squats, yam pounding, stomach tying and kegles(these may help though, who knows) you do.

Unless you have been married for 60 years blissfully and passionately you can't really say right? because even 30 year marriages can end.

The part of last year that really killed my happily ever after buzz was the Angelina and Brad split. I was really rooting for them as I have a constant woman crush  on Angelina.

While I understand that some view her as a husband snatcher/home wrecker, I don't think she went after his previous marriage with a machete to destroy it. He is the one who made the vow and the one who broke it. I am a  marriage fan girl and nothing makes me happier than a married couple that can bounce back but we don't always get our wish.
Now to the point at hand.

To be in an active relationship with any one, whether  it is friendship or a romantic relationship, I feel the devil is in  the details. Forget the #couple goals that we see on Instagram and Facebook  with a lady with snatched waist and man with big muscles.  It's the details that make the marriage or relationship worth fighting for.

Can you handle the details? Do you want to?

Details like; the way the light shines on their face in the badly lit restaurant, the way the person laughs at your embarrassing mistakes or holds their breath and runs in and out of the bathroom  to do the toilet paper save while you have another bad case of runny tummy.

The way you laugh at the jokes you have heard over and over again because you just like the way they say it.  They way you have to try new things (like amala, that you end up loving) because of them when you are just a comfort creature. The way they respond when you ask if you are fat with cute words that still mean fat but make you feel better.

"Love is in the mundane. I think the love songs and romance novels have ruined us. You would not die without them, you will probably go on living , but you don't want to live without them. It's not a need, it's a want which makes it all the more special."
Love is;  patient  because people are very annoying, it's kind because it's kindness that makes you say; 'you are just rosy' when you want to say you are fat, it keeps no record of wrong because when you are with someone for long  and you love them, you will have to force amnesia sometimes and this also means it forgives.  

Love always protects because what else is there for you to do when you love someone, if they get hurt it's still you that has to care for them, so you protect them for your sake. 

Love always trusts because you will be a very unhappy person if you always assume the worst about people you claim to love and you have to trust someone at some point right? It believes the best, hopes for the best, expects the best.

Love most importantly can evolve, it doesn't get stuck on butterflies, flat tummies and 6pack abs, it is willing to learn, change and grow. 

It's not simple or easy and that's the problem now, love is not easy and sometimes, it's really not a great adventure, if you don't want to work at it on some days then just love yourself.
Love is not only in grand gestures like chattering a flight to take you on a trip, it's in simple things like sitting silently with you when your world is crumbling, listening, praying together and not judging. It's not only in fancy expensive dates and gifts, it's in sitting with you when that food from the restaurant doesn't agree with your tummy.

It's in watching the boring movie and sharing the remote control.

It's in helping out when help is needed.

It's the fact that they get to see you without all the makeup or flossing and they still say; 
'Gosh.. So beautiful'

love is in the details.

It's also in Jesus  dying for you even when you didn't know him. That to me is the  Ultimate.

xoxo



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