Skip to main content

Can We Really Handle Honesty

It's been ages since I took the time to write anything.  I find this very relaxing but I have not relaxed in like 300 years (really 4weeks and it feels like300 years). Today we will be talking about how  we are all big fat liars by claiming we want honesty. You know how people always claim that they like honesty but 99.9% of the time if someone is brutally honest with you, you can't take it.  you will be thinking "why are you so mean?". Simple human decency does not really make room for brutal honesty.
Imagine if you told your boss straight out "sir you have body odour" out of the blue with no back ground and he is a guy that was insisting that he likes honesty in all his employees. How do you reckon he is going to react?
                                       
Women especially claim they like honesty but if someone steps up to you and says "that's the ugliest dress I have seen you wear" what will be your reaction "thank you so much for your honest opinion now I will go home to change or you will just tie your gele on the waist and prepare for fight. Honesty is really overrated sometimes sha;  like when your boyfriend tells you he cheated so that you guys can be honest and have a clean slate. It will probably be more annoying  if you didn't expect it at all, or you tell your guy that the boy is not his son when you have been together for 7 years. lol. No you will not (seriously you better not, just die with the secret).
We all claim we want people to be honest but we really don't, how can you want honesty when you tell yourself  lies all the time. I am really sleeping well and using shea butter on my skin and what you really are doing is adding a whitening serum to your shea butter or you say I have no time for this and it doesn't affect me when in truth its killing you.

                              
While I get that we need honesty to make it through life it's the lies we tell ourselves and others tell us that makes the ride worth it. Take for instance the lie that you will love being a parent 100% of the time, no you do not or that you will love the freedom and responsibility getting older brings, ermm, no most of the time you want to curl up in a dark room and sleep for days.
There is a balance though, there is a way to tell your girl friend or wife that she is fat without shredding her confidence. There is away to tell your boss that he smells without actually saying it (clue: subtle hints and gifts of odour neutralisers and deodorant).   On that note, after all is said and done, honesty is the key to keeping a clean soul and  weight off your shoulder. If you have friends and family that love you honesty will not be a strange bed fellow (lol always wanted to use that phrase) or if you want really want to succeed and be happy, you have to be honest to yourself and hold others accountable to be honest with you  and not in a spiteful way. If someone claims they are being honest but in actual fact they are distorting what is the truth with versions  that make them feel better about hurting other people, then they are not your friend.
                                          
As you grow you also need to be honest about the things that really matter in your life and how the people who are around you are helping shape you for these. If not you will be surrounded by a crowd of honest liars who claim to want to help you but make it harder for you to do anything. Just be honest with yourself, that is the most important truth and that's what counts.


XO.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Waiting Room

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash Been sitting in this position of stagnation Watching doors open and close in trepidation My emotions jumble in confusion When will it be my turn? People pass me in this chair the walls are rock surrounded by air doors opening and closing, despair When can I get going? The time ticks by as I watch Slowly draining as a trough While I fight to clutch Are all my dreams now dead? The sound of hope as doors burst open Window agape as glass lay broken A way to pass I see as I awaken After discovery in this waiting room. -YD- How I hate to wait. I strongly dislike standing still and just waiting for time to pass, for something to happen. I tell myself that God has got to find me here, if I stand still long enough God has got to hear me, but I still stand there waiting for something to happen and most times nothing does. When I was much younger when things don't turn out as I planned for them to; I d...

The Killing of the Virtuous Woman

(Unchained Part 1) This is where she died. The virtuous woman. She started early with one kid on her back and the other one pinned to her side. Going up a hill with a bucket of water while he still slept... Back pain killed her. No appetite after cooking food for you and you and you, too tired to laugh or eat or take part in the conversation… Complacency killed her They said to make something of yourself. She had no time; home had to be perfect she said my home is the reflection of who I am… Aimlessness killed her. She began late with the clothes washing and the floor scrubbing while watching the brood she had to split to bare. Because of love, she held nothing back... She moved on to the bedroom where she had to be your love, your whore, your dream for 5 minutes and yet you found flaws, but she smiled and moved on with it… Selflessness killed her. This is where she died the love of your life, of heartbreak when she heard you had room in your heart f...

Dear Mr President

Dear Mr President, The other day, doing what young people do, I picked up my phone and read a statement from you. The one in the above quote. Sadly, I wasn't surprised because I realized what most of the young people in Nigeria did not realize, that your main job is to appear more to the outside world than to us that you have tackled our issues and found us wanting because if you don't we obviously cannot get money out of them. But as a curious cat that I am I have a few simple questions, please take your time to answer: Which youth are you talking about exactly? The ones who are queuing up in the streets every day looking for work? The ones migrating from rural areas in search for a better life for their families? Or is it the idealistic ones that return to this country with big dreams of making a better country and are told to chill “. Are you not Nigerian?" The ones who seek an opportunity to get better and be entrepreneurs in the absence o...