To Spank or Not To Spank.

 This is a late Mother's day post.

Lately the  topic of spanking just pops up  everywhere. If you don't believe me just type spanking and child on google.

Where ever there are parents people are airing their views on whether or not to spank their kids.

Lately the trend is shifting away from spanking even though the bible says spare the rod and spoil the child. Some people argue that the bible didn't mean the rod literally  just a form of correction.
Personally I believe in the rod. It  can take any form, the hand, the slippers, sometimes the spoon in your hand or even a pinch... lol. But I believe  in the rod. Most Nigerian mothers believe in spanking too. It's effective and straight to the point. Your disapproval is not left in contention.

Some people believe though in negotiation. I don't see how rewarding a child for common sense is a good idea. In the long run won't it come back to bite your behind? Think about it "John if you stop slapping your sister I will give you a cookie." Why?! Why will I give you a cookie if you don't slap your sister? I will let your sister slap you and ask you if this is a feeling you like or if the sister can't, I will do it myself. Just so that you understand that it's painful.
For my niece and nephew I used the 3 warnings and spank technique this was more than my mama gave me. It was straight us close lining for any rubbish. For my daughter, well she's still too young yet she go learn.

Growing UP.

I remember this one time I went out with my mother and sister  to see a friend of my mother's. Her friend had a daughter about our age so we played with her. My mother was done with her gist and said okay girls let's go, my sister dusted up and got going but me i was too busy I said ''mummy I want to stay'' feeling cute. She said "koyona stand up and cm let's go"'. I said ''mummy I want to stay i will just walk back on my own" (you just know how this is going to end right?). The aunty even pitches in ''let her stay and play with the dolls now she can walk home'' (The house was not too far from mine and those were the days when a child could safely walk alone). Its not like we didn't have toys oh, in fact we had lots cause we were like 7 of us but you know how children are with other peoples stuff. After this my mother just said okay and went. My sister kept giving me side eye meaning; you better stand up and come... I just sat down and continued playing. You see, in my mind I knew I had crossed the line I knew my mama was mad but I kinda justified it "it's her best friends house I mean what does it matter?" Any way long story short when I finally got home like 30mins later (fear won't let me stay longer) all my siblings were waiting for me outside. Looking back now it is hilarious but then... Imagine coming home and seeing varying sizes of boys and girls just waiting outside for you. My cousin said i should just suck it up. My brother on the other hand made up a song and laughed,  my sister just kept saying shey I was begging you to come why did you stay why lmao like she was the one that was going to get a caning. I will never forget that day. My mother beat me with a long ass cane what we used to call ''koboko" the type they used to cane us with in school, slim and long made out of some unbending wood. Lol. 

Well, after that I listened. I didn't question and never second guessed my mama. Of course I still did things that got me a caning but in the grand scale of things coming bk home on time was never a problem after that and I am not broken. I laugh about this and share it with you because it's funny I mean it was like 10 strokes or something (her anger had chilled) but it got the job done.
To be fair to my mother though I had this coming.  There were other incidents before this but I have not the power to type biko.

I am not saying that  there are no incidents where adults have taken this spanking children thing into the realm of abuse. like in schools those days the way the teachers used to beat the lights out of kids and for what? you didn't do your home work, you cane late to school, etc. first of all when it comes to discipline you have to tread a very tight rope concerning other peoples children. like strangers slapping your child in the church for talking. children are annoying most especially the spoilt ones but raising your hands to hit a strangers child is not very smart.

There are instances  where spanking bothers on abuse, its used to stifle and terrorize children like some women treat their maids.  Like all things in life you need to approach this with sense and draw a clear line.. 

That being said ,

I am no expert. This is just my opinion in as much as spanking is useful it should not be the only tool a parent can use it should be saved for important situations like your Sunday clothes. The silent treatment (don't even get me started on how effective this can be) :0 , scolding and other forms of punishment can be your go to.  

I think the answer is to spank once in a while so it's effective not too much that the child gets used to it and it looses it effect but when that child hears that come here now, the fear of God will descend and respect will be shown. I never got used to my mother's spanking sha. She stopped once we turned 13. Because the gospel according to Mama was well instilled with her eyes and her cane.

Happy Mother's Day to all Mothers and Mothers to be. We shape the World