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The Waiting Room

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash


Been sitting in this position of stagnation
Watching doors open and close in trepidation
My emotions jumble in confusion
When will it be my turn?

People pass me in this chair
the walls are rock surrounded by air
doors opening and closing, despair
When can I get going?

The time ticks by as I watch
Slowly draining as a trough
While I fight to clutch
Are all my dreams now dead?

The sound of hope as doors burst open
Window agape as glass lay broken
A way to pass I see as I awaken
After discovery in this waiting room.

-YD-


How I hate to wait. I strongly dislike standing still and just waiting for time to pass, for something to happen. I tell myself that God has got to find me here, if I stand still long enough God has got to hear me, but I still stand there waiting for something to happen and most times nothing does.

When I was much younger when things don't turn out as I planned for them to; I dealt with some form of depression (we are calling it depression now). I did not and still do not think of it as depression in its true state but in the middle of whatever I was doing, I will feel this overwhelming need to curl up in a dark box and just be. Of course I got over it plus I am not into super cool enclosed spaces but these are things that people have to deal with in real life, things not happening when we want them to and we don't die, no we just pick up and move on.

Now my anxiety has shifted its course: my choices may or may not affect my children. I have to worry about fuel and I have to worry that I am not reaching my full potential as a woman, as a mother, as an entrepreneur and even as a person. Since I don't like to wait, I don't always get that rebooting that I need to make me optimal, I just like to go go go and justify it later.  

Finally I really just discovered what waiting means, especially waiting on God in a time of leanness (lack,want, unfulfillment) concerning different situations I face in life.

I pray but sometimes find myself rushing through it so I can run and deal with another thing that I think I need to deal with in order to be optimal, but I always fall short. I start something and while I know that the best things take time, I just struggle with time.

The waiting time feels like a barren place.

However, I have learnt to wait in abundance. I have learnt to see any form of lack or deficit I feel as a time to refill and refuel. I am still struggling with sitting quietly and letting things mature in God's time, but I am learning that while waiting can be painful especially for a doer, it’s also a time for growth and self discovery.

Patience is indeed a virtue.

Happy Waiting.  


Also Read : Young Lady, Wait just a little longer


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