How to be Adored (Tear Eye # 2)

Photo by hannah grace on Unsplash

Have you ever watched how a little girl takes a compliment? 

Have you ever just looked as she absorbs it? "You look beautiful" you say to her. She smiles because she knows you speak the truth after all why you will lie about something so true like her beauty. "You are a smart girl" you say and she looks at you in a matter of fact way and says "I know, I can do this on my own."

I have this friend I went to school with, besides the fact that she kept me in constant awe because she was like a little girl, in that, she knew how to take a compliment. 

You never heard her say things like "oh, stop it" nope. No false mindset here. If she figured she looked good and you told her, you are only validating what she already knew so she says thank you and she moves on like it's her right (the outrage!). 

So many times I watch as grown women (including me) struggle to be adored mostly because they don’t think they deserve it. 

However can you really blame us?  When we live in a society that gives one and takes back ten. What's the point of talking when the payback may be too high. 

We as women hear more of the words “no”, “don't”, “can't” and “shouldn't” so that at a point it becomes a “won't” because what's the point in bothering to try when it has been instilled in your psyche you will fail? Maybe you have looked and laughed and judged as others tried and failed and you thought well that will never be me. 

A woman who knows how to receive praise and acts like she deserves it is usually thought of as vain. When in fact, the truth is she just knows what she deserves. Yes there are vain women just like a majority of men are vain and entitled. We shouldn't punish or think little of ourselves when we have reached a point where we decide that we deserve this adoration and all these compliments. Now the secret of how not to let compliments rule you is a post for another day. Today all we need to take away is to take the praise when we get it.

If we spent more time patting ourselves on the back, saying “good work” when we have in fact done good work, not being overly critical of ourselves so much so that we trap ourselves in one position and refuse to go forward so we don't make a fool of ourselves. Maybe that's when we will hear someone say “you’re beautiful” or “good work” and we say thank you because you know it’s true or "you are such a superstar" and we reply with "I know" not because we are cocky but because we do actually know.

You notice men don't have problems with adoration. It's because they have been brought up from a very early stage to believe that it's their right and they deserve it. They expect to be deferred to and consulted on issues. They deserve to be looked upon with awe. Women on the other hand are told to be humble, be demure, be quiet, not so opinionated, not so loud, all those blah things that make you forgettable. So when they are told they are anything but, they have a hard time believing it.

So thank God for all these women who are truly living, taking punches and giving just as good as they get, not being afraid to adore themselves and others around them, helping us believe how awesome we are. Don't dim another woman's light always try as best as you can to pull people up, whether male or female.

Allow that girl Shine and Let yourself be Adored for goodness sake.  

PS: please endeavour to sit down and be humble too so you can learn and experience new things, besides that as long as you worked for it don't be afraid to take the praise.