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Mama or Bestie?


Is it my responsibility as a mother to be friends maybe even best friends with my child? I have noticed that some parents try more to be friends with their children and in the process neglect being parents. 

What's the difference between a parent and a friend in the strictest sense of the word. 

A friend is someone who most likely smokes shit with you, you have similar if not the same goals. Most likely if its real friendship you cover up each other's messes and you are honest so basically if one gets caught, the other will be right beside them or maybe be the emergency contact to bail them out. You make similar silly mistakes andget wise together

A parent on the other hand is one who in the biological sense brings you into the world. In the normal sense it's their responsibility to provide for, teach and guide you so you are of some use to the world. If they are there for you to talk to and can afford periodically to buy you candy, sit with you when you are ill and give the school bullies side eye on your behalf you are then superiorly fortunate. They of course have to provide shelter so that you don't get eaten up by wild animals and to repress their animal instincts not to eat you up themselves (because you are the cutest and other stories). If they tick all these boxes Voila! You have a parent . 

Growing up, my parents made it abundantly clear that it was not their responsibility to be my besties , thus I could not use slangs around them, I spoke The Queens English 
( or my version of it) in their presence. I came home with good marks, and I bloody well kept the curfew, which I thought was totally ridiculous (4pm, like seriously and this was on weekends oh). In return, I was provided with a stream of unearned income which I figured was my right, I was entitled to not die of sickness and to eat adequately enough though I was marginally bulimic at some point (story for another day). I was also very seriously protected from pedophiles (I had a very careful mother).
Mama or Bestie?
Now, there is a shift towards friendship, my daughter keeps reminding me that I am her best friend ( this is only when I am doing exactly what she wants or I am about to) and I, like my dear mother, keep trying to inform her that I am not her bestie but her mummy and these are two very different things. 

My question though is doesn't this divide make it harder for your child to talk to you about issues that bother them? I may willingly discuss boyfriends because lets be serious, boys happen, but you will not be partaking in regular partying or sleep overs (not gonna happen). 

I just want to thread that line like the “G” I am at everything else. I refuse to fail at being there for my children and if I go through the body distorting process of bringing you into this world you have to damn well be rest assured that I have got your back. Just like my mum, who of course did not get any appreciation till I started having kids, I want to be there but I also what to instil the kind of respect I give my parents.
So my question sill remains, Mama or Bestie and if you know how to be both please share below.


xo
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Location: Abuja, Nigeria

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