"Is it not yet time?" the Aunty asks Ify as they
stood there looking at the newly minted husband and wife as they walked down
the aisle...
She laughed and walked away.
Fast forward to a few years later,
"Is it not yet time?" her uncle asks as she looks
at her new husband in confusion. He reiterates, more forceful this time "is
it not yet time for you and Oga to concentrate and give us grandchildren? I
hope the pregnancy has entered oh?”
She proceeds to politely walk away, dragging her husband by
the hands to refrain from saying anything rude about silly questions and
assholes.
Fast forward a few years later one baby successfully
birthed going on 4 years.
"Is it not yet time for number 2?" her husband’s
annoying co-worker who fancies himself a close family friend says with so much
superiority as they both sit and watch their kids play.
The questions keep coming. Is it not yet time?
This is a question you will hear as our neighbours, family
and friends quietly drive you towards achieving goals they have set for you in
their minds, refusing to mind their own
businesses to point out to you what the perceive as a waste of your own time.
Is it not yet time to get married? Did you give her or him
a sensible wife/husband and they told you they didn't want? What sort of silly
insulting question is that? I once heard a young woman being asked this
question tell the older woman "if you give me the address to the market
where I can go and buy a husband I will go."
You manage to find the husband and marry him. You cannot
drink water and drop your cup in peace till some well meaning relative starts
making small comments about how your lack/excess of sleep affects trying to
conceive or asking you if it's not yet time to have children.
When you finally manage to cross that hurdle by God's
grace, fear let you wait more that 1 year then maybe you will be fortunate
enough for co-worker to start asking you
silly questions or running their hands on your tummy and asking if it's not yet
time for number 2, Don't you want more kids?
When will it be time for people to mind their business? The
amount of “is it not yet time” questions you have to fend off in this country
on a daily basis are amazing. Sometimes it's insulting and not their business,
most times, it is just plain rude.
People need to understand that there is nothing you want to
say to a single girl or guy (in some cases) that they don't already know. If Marriage
is in their plans and they want it, you best believe they think about it much
more than you do.
Also a couple have been married for long enough and wants
kids it’s best you understand that it’s something they are trying very hard at.
Your questions and reminders, subtle and other wise, are not helping anyone,
they are not driving them closer to their goal, you’re just making them aware
of how far from it they are.
Is it not yet time?
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