Don't Ask Me to Choose

I read somewhere that if you don't want a woman to decide give her a choice. I hate having to choose, you hear people shouting how they want a choice but when they get it, they become unhappy. Research even shows that we are a generation of sadder people because we have more choice. Why does choice make us so unhappy? It's because for every choice you make there is an opportunity cost, that is the alternative you had to let go of  so that you can make the choice you did, how do you know that the one you didn't pick is not the one that will complete you forever.

Scenario 1: Ralph had to make a choice, Oge was a beautiful woman but she was stubborn, she wouldn't let him land before she jumped to conclusions but she was beautiful and she could cook, his mother also liked her very much but she was the kind of girl who would make a decision and inform him later, not because she wanted to undermine him but because that's just how she was and she could not pray for 1 straight hour (wink). Shola on the other hand was the opposite, she couldn't make a decision without consulting him and while she was a beauty she was also an average cook and the constant indecision and reliance on his advice was sometimes tiring. His mother was not very fond of her but every other person in his family loved her dearly. She was also wealthy so she didn't really need him financially. What Ralph knows is that he wants to settle down, what Ralph does not know is if its Oge or Shola,, Ralph does not also know what exactly he can tolerate for a lifetime.

Scenario 2: Koyona goes into a shop one rainy Abuja evening what Koyona knows is that she wants a new pair of shoes, she has given herself a series of pep talks and she understands that financially she cannot afford to splurge on shoes, logically she can use shoes she already has but naturally she wants a new pair of shoes. What Koyona does not know is that her inability to choose is going to be an issue in a shop full of shoes. She needs a pair of work shoes and the shop has a wide variety but she tells herself be practical and buy shoes with 4 inch heels or lower but as her feet go into the 6inch heels she reminds herself of how short she is and how the heels make her look smart. she then has a problem with choice and because she hates unhappiness and buyer remorse, she ends up purchasing 2 pairs of shoes (goodness).

Let's look at bigger life decisions like work. It maybe which location to place your office from a couple of good locatons, or which boyfriend to dump. I figure that the cause of all these problems is that women were never meant to make big choices, we were meant to have everything. A man that has all the traits we want (lol) all the shoes and shiny things in the world (sigh). Unfortunately  that's not how life works, it's the choices we make that make us human because some of them maybe small like yoghurt or ice cream and affect only our waist line some may be more serious like the hot sexy bad boy or the stable handsome good boy; where one leave us with black eyes or shattered hearts and the other just leaves us bored.

I am trying to turn myself into the kind of woman whose choices do not affect her happiness. By basing my happiness and sense of self in God and in the abilities he has given me and the other non-tangible things that just make me. The tendency that I will have handbag withdrawal when I can't buy the 2 I love in the shop will be less. Or if a woman has to walk away from 2 boring men so that she can find the right one or choose the one who makes her happy over the one who buys her everything (if the 2 were not mutually exclusive). While our choices eventually form the kind of person we become and they are a true reflection of our values, we can become a being removed from any bad choices we make, able to stand up and try again even if it's bad or ruins plans for us for some time.

  

xo