Age and The Nigerian Mentality

Age is a very serious matter in Nigeria. People act like as you get older, the gods just appear to you on birthdays and impart life's wisdom on you that younger people are not privy to. This wisdom now gives you the right to act like a god over people and say things you would not want said to you; due to age, that chilled, laid back work place that is gaining traction in the Western world cannot work in Nigeria. When you were seriously beaten for not calling someone who your older sister was friends with 'SIS' because she was older than you, or 'BROS' all because of age, you now want to walk down the corridor of the office and refer to your senior or Jero or Esther, so they will stop you and explain to you how many meetings they have had with the gods therefore you have no right to be referring  to them on first name basis or when a young person tries to tell one of your subordinate staff members who happens to be much older than you off and they go out and grumble how they have your type at home.

                       

We have all been there in one form or the other. In this country, young people are mostly treated as if there is nothing they have to offer whether we like it or not. The people who we are calling sir and Ma today at our ages were required to bring in much more than they ask of the younger generation today and they worked in a system that supported and nurtured them to be where they are today. How do you want to plant corn and expect to harvest wheat?

For our generation, most of use that grew up in Middle class Nigeria (as in your parents could afford three square meals and your school fees) lead very sheltered lives. Nothing was asked of us except to pass our exams and try and make it through school without getting pregnant or joining cult. We were sent to market or asked to spend our pocket money wisely when aunty or uncle dashed us something. We were a very sheltered generation and we had the perception that we were owed,  not only by our parents but also by our communities. 

        

We believed we were owed certain things and every time we did not get what we thought we were owed we became more and more selfish, thinking about how to manipulate our parents and our society to give us our due. Now our parents are reaping the fruits of all their hard work considering that their children could have gone one way or another.

I was talking to someone that said Nigerians do not have the drive to nurture things, we all want to make money fast, we all want accelerated progress based on no effort, and I was thinking that how much of that is as a fault of our predecessors. We grew up in a Nigeria where the rich had to show that they were rich, all the money came from government, they were the elite, driving cars we saw in movies and dragging around a litany of police escorts so that their wives can go to market and buy food stuff. That was the sign of your arrival. The young people were watching and we all wanted to be like that, so we took it a step up and sacrificed house rent for designer clothes bags and cars, it even became more important for us to be perceived as rich as it was for us to actually be rich.

You do not create a system that rewards selfishness and corruption and expect that people will come to you straight forward and upright. Only the sharp were moving forward so that's how we have programmed ourselves to be. People that damaged a system now want to blame a generation coming after for the decay in a system they laid and then they use this to explain to us how our generation is lost and need the help of the older generation to succeed. A system that you destroyed. how exactly do you fix something you have broken when you are still using the same practices and employing the same mentality?

I believe that there is a wisdom that comes with getting older and being open to learning new things. The problem comes when you consider yourself the smarter one in a room just because every other person is younger than you are. It's not fair and it doesn't improve you, but that's the mentality of most of the older generation, they forget that the more you are open to learning new things the more accepting and wiser you are. while young people are generally ignorant, arrogant without cause and lack simple courtesy, they are demanding more inclusion, more thought to our cause. No more telling young people to wait and pay their dues, what dues? Young people are everyday breaking those ceilings that have been created by age in this country despite the general lack of support and disillusion . Age does not give you the key to life, no one person has the solution to problems.

Most young people are ready to learn, understand hard work and are ready to put in the hard work, Maybe we should start giving an ear to the dreams of much younger children, don't wait till they leave secondary school and don't only concentrate on private school kids. Let's not ignore their dreams like they don't matter, imagine if you had had the support for your dream, would your life be fuller? Will you be happier?

For our system to work, older people have to understand that because things are not done your way does not mean they can't be done and younger people need to understand that old age does come with its own advantages. But when we don't have a system where older people can retire in peace, they will keep making it harder and harder for the younger ones to come up because they believe we haven't paid our dues yet or have more time ahead.

On the flip side, the older generation can say the things they do because some young people have no drive. They really do expect for things to be handed to them and when they are not they don't have the bone to push back. Maybe it's a personality thing or maybe it is because some of us know that the system doesn't favour just anybody. People have used just their hard work and prayers and are succeeding everyday in this country. It may be harder here than in most other places but I really believe that if you can survive thrive and succeed in Nigeria you can make it anywhere (don't mind New York because if we had half the things they had we will be unstoppable too)    

We are jaded and cynical and yes we have our faults and flaws but maybe if doors were opened to all ages and classes of people just maybe that's when this whole situation will begin to turn around for us.

We have only one Nigeria.

XO

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