I
was roaming around during the week playing with a couple of topics for my next
blog posts and I had promised myself that if I don't feel passionate about the
topic I won't write about it. Then I got
inspiration, for this one when I went into a shop to buy some shaving cream and
I heard the two sales girls talking about the third one who was not around. With
the constant ''Na so she dey" and the ''Person no fit trust these Calabar girls''
whispers I kind of put 2 and 2 together (experience from a life time of talk
talk and listening to what is not my business, what the experts call insight...
LMAO). The summary of their story is that the third girl was new and the store
manager was sweet on her when he used to basically ignore the other two girls
who have worked there longer and three of them leave together they are friends.
Why
are women so hard on themselves, why are we more judgmental of other women than
we are of men. Maybe it's our natural attraction towards men but I can't
understand why It's so hard for us to support each other. Even when you meet a
woman that calls herself a girls girl somehow in one way or another she have
bashed another woman.
Take
for instance this working mother stay at home mother business or the breast
feeding exclusively not breast feeding exclusively tussle, it's like the media
has gone out of its way to make this small disagreement an all out war. Okay so
there are women who work 9 to 5 or longer, they won't give up their jobs or
whatever it is they do to stay at home and there are women who don't go to work
from 9 to 5 but work all day to keep a good home and do whatever it is they do
to fill their days, but I am sure the strife between these two classes of women
is not as bad here in Nigeria as it is outside Nigeria but you still notice it.
A working mother will ask her stay at home friend, my Gosh what do you do with
your life all day and the stay at home friend will have to now defend her day
to her friend who is busy all day taking on the corporate world. Then the
working mother has to explain to her stay at home friend how she can raise her
children to be useful adults if she is never there or always out chasing money.
Both women go back home not happier as they should be but busy berating the
other in her head rehearsing what she could have said. It's all a whole truck
load of rubbish
Who
said that all working women regret not being home with their babies and who
said that all stay at home mothers hate it. like I say if you hate your
situation, change it!
Another
instance of woman on woman crime is in fashion, you see a lady walk out of her
house and dress to the nines in stuff she is uncomfortable in so that she can
impress, like I always tell all my male friends women rarely dress for men they
sometimes dress for other women. It takes a confident and insightful woman to
know that the only person you should bother dressing for is yourself. Men will see and appreciate a confident and beautiful
woman. Yet it's another woman that will notice the label on the other woman's
bag not a man, its another woman that will say why the high heels in the weather
as if it's her business or why the flats a man will just look and appreciate. Even
in church or where people gather you see how much the older women are harder on
the younger ones and it's not so that they hold themselves to a higher standard
it's just mere spite. You see this even in the office. You feel so much hatred
from some women toward others and you will be wondering what's all this about
are you sharing husband? Some women just see any other woman as a treat of some
kind.
We
spend so much time comparing ourselves to other women that we forget that we
are on different journeys.
As
much as I can appreciate how we look to each other for approval, I also think
you attract what you put out. If you find that your group of girls don't add
value to you then why bother spending time with them. Why do you see women
fighting over a man that cheated on both of them as opposed to men who might
just shrug it off and probably be friends? Maybe if we stood up for ourselves
more often it will be harder for us to take the rubbish that is thrown our way
on a daily. If you can't say my girls have got my back about your friends then
my sister you better start looking for new ones.
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