Right from when I turned 13 I had a body image problem. I came to realize recently that I have never allowed myself enjoy the body I had at any given time. Before I had my baby I was a comfortable and healthy size, I didn't know or appreciate this not because no one told me but just because I didn't see it myself.
There is no amount of comfort that you will find in another person's words if you can't find it in yourself first. 3 years ago I got these beautiful pair of jeans as a present they were too big for me at that time I kept thinking I will never be that big "God forbid" meanwhile at that size I still was not comfortable, I always wanted something thinner.
The thing is I wasn't aware that this was a body image thing.
As far as I was concerned I did not have body image issues I was good and healthy and trying to be healthier working out, complaining and letting myself get depressed when the scale won't budge so and so.
The thing is I wasn't aware that this was a body image thing.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to do better and working for it, but when it affects your present state of happiness then it's a big problem.
As far as I was concerned I did not have body image issues I was good and healthy and trying to be healthier working out, complaining and letting myself get depressed when the scale won't budge so and so.
I am sure one American therapist will have a word for that but I am a Nigerian girl and Nigerian girls don't have problems like that (lies!!!). Fast forward to now a few years later I have 1 baby under the belt (literally, as she is like a shadow) , new stretch marks and Lord help me a few more kgs to contend with and I have finally hit my Nirvana. How? You ask. Well the truth is self confidence was never going to come from what the scale said.
I consider my self to be a very confident person, I work hard and I eat right and this has always been the case with me, I am not my ideal weight and so much has to be done before I attain happiness and agreement with my scale but I am finally happy in my skin.
self confidence was never going to come from what the scale said
It has nothing to do with compliments because let me tell you nothing will shred your self esteem like Nigerians who don't know how to start a conversation but begin with 'ahn ahn you are now big like a madam oh' MADAM?!! Are you freaking kidding me?!! when I am looking for how to look 25 for the next 10 yrs.
But what can you do about it? You laugh and say 'I am trying to accomplish what you have conquered, look more like you' at least that will shut them up. These sorts of people love compliments
Please note that I have never been a skinny girl but as long as I am within my health body weight ( which I am trying to attain always *sigh*) I am doing the right things to get there and I can teach my child healthy body image and how to treat her body like a temple, then I think I have done my part. So you say am I happy in the skin I have now? yes I am.
I will be of course be ecstatic when that pair of jeans I was condemning a few yrs ago agrees to button but till then, we have the body we have, we dress it, pummel it with all those insane exercises , dress it up, prune it and work the shit out of it till something gives and meanwhile people will be wondering how you have so much confidence.
Here is my advice for any one dealing with what I am dealing with: Life is too short to be sitting around stressing for that perfect body. Dress the one you have now, Pamper it, rock it, work it out. Do not compare yourself to anybody else, not even a little because nothing steals your joy like comparison. Listen to your body when exercising and eating you know your limits and you know when you are just making excuses. Make allowances for you to just chill and enjoy yourself honestly there is only so much you can do.
If you are doing the right things exercising and eating right then one day that scale will tell you what you want to see (this is my hope :D ) but till then, "treat em' mean and keep em' keen it's not for nothing that sexy shoes have spiky heels". What ever size you are treat yourself well, be kind to yourself.
Also since we are still on motivational Cliches:
Also since we are still on motivational Cliches:
I love this article. Very encouraging. Well, I have learnt that no matter your size people will talk. This comments have negative effects on us most times. I remember when I was "chubbier" people complained saying I was getting overweight and I should work on my body. The truth is that I too wasn't comfortable. Now I have lost some weight and when I hear people complaining about it I get very excited because I am comfortable in skin. I just have to know my limits and listen to my body as you have recommended. Chubby or skinny you gotta love your body. Good one dear!
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